END OF 1ST WEEK WORKING FULL TIME!
It’s been a great week: completing my 1st week, knowing I can do this full time, a press invite, AND the Tony Awards!
But it’s also been quite an exhausting week! And when I get a bit overtired, my words tend to fail me. Case in point: last night when asked if I wanted any wine, instead of saying ‘Im fine’, I said, ‘I’m wine’.
And not only do words fail me, but I tend to fall back on musicals to express how I feel. You know, like Miranda does with songs:
Interviewer: A lot of our products are for children, young families. Do you have kids?
but she can’t stop herself…
And she can’t stop…
And that’s basically what I do. When I hear certain words which are from musicals, I can’t help but finish that sentence with the correct lyrics. No matter what the situation! So here’s a list of words or phrases which when I hear, I HAVE to sing along to!
Talking About Current Affairs:
Other person: Have you heard about what’s going on in Uganda?
Normal response: I know, it’s awful isn’t it.
Me: UGANDA! Cool…where is that? Africa! Oh boy, like Lion King!
Talking about relationships
Other person: I can’t believe he did that to her. He deserves everything he gets.
Normal response: I know, I can’t believe that.
Me: Yeah…I know…I guess you could say…
Other person: Please don’t…
Other person: I don’t know who’s telling the truth. But you know what I believe?
Normal response: What?
Me: That the Lord God created the universe.
Other person: No, I believe…
Me: That he sent his only son to die for my sins.
Other person: *sigh*
Me: AND I BELIEVE, that ancient Jews built boats and sailed to America.
Customer: So how long have you been working here?
Normal response: A year, in total.
Me: FIVE HUNDRED, TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED MINUTES!
Trying to have serious conversations
Other person: I’m so excited for this opportunity. It’s opened up, like, a whole new world to me.
Normal response: That’s so great! Well done you!
Other person: *annoyed* JESUS CHRIST!
Normal response: What’s wrong?!
Me: JESUS CHRIST. WHO ARE YOU, WHAT HAVE YOU SACRIFICED?
Other person: No, I’m really annoyed. Damnit!
Me: Janet, I love you!
Other person: No, I mean it, I’m genuinely in trouble, I’m really fucked.
Me: Yeah you’re fucked alright, and all for spite, you can kiss your sorry ass goodnight!
Other person: …
Other person: I think I’ve worked out how to deal with that problem. Step 1:
Normal response: *listens patiently*
Me: He’s off to Harvard Law, so I get in there too.
Other person: No, wait, so Step 1…
Me: We find the worst play ever written. Step 2: We hire the worst director in town. Step 3: We raise two million dollars. One for me, one for you! There’s a lot of little old ladies out there! Step 4: We hire the worst actors in New York and open on Broadway and before you can say, Step 5: We close on Broadway, take our two million, and go to Rio!!!
Other person: Why am I friends with you again?
Other person: I hope you’re happy…
Normal response: I’m not, I’m so sorry for what I’ve done.
Me: I hope YOU’RE happy. I hope you’re happy too. I hope you’re proud how you would grovel in submission, to FEED your own ambition.